


When Mindy Met Keira

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/F, you read that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 19:11:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1910445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mindy meets Keira Knightley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Mindy Met Keira

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HelenVanPattersonPatton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenVanPattersonPatton/gifts).



> So, this was a prompt from HelenVanPattersonPatton. I don't usually do RPF, but as soon as she presented the idea to me, I was all over it. Because Mindy Lahiri isn't a real person and it just sounded fun. I hope you like it, doll! I think I may revisit this pairing again in the future. This was a very simple possible set up for a follow up in the future :)

She feels a little guilty, walking into the bar at The Standard, on a Tuesday, at 2:00 in the afternoon. She is pretty sure that not even the housewives of New York start drinking this early in the day.

 

But, whatever, this is her lunch break, and if her lunch happens to be liquid lunch, that’s her business. She’s a hot, single, successful, adult woman and—“ _Holy shit, that’s Keira Knightley_.”

 

Mindy ducks behind a nearby pillar and watches, mouth agape, as number two on her list of celebrities she’s allowed to sleep with whenever she’s in a relationship sips on something dark, number two underneath Michael Fastbender.

 

_Oh, my god, Fassy and Keira and me. Unstoppable._

Keira Knightley, as it happens, is just as graceful in person as she is in every single movie, and every single interview Mindy has watched on loop. She has compiled a YouTube playlist titled “Princess Keira” and she’s watched it on many a drunk occasion.

 

She’s slim and is elegant like a swan, or a duck or whatever. Whatever animal is elegant and beautiful. She’s reading something at the bar, a script maybe. Something to shove down the Academy’s throat during award season for sure.

 

“Okay, Mindy, this is your chance,” She says quietly to herself when the stool next Ms. Knightley vacates.

 

With every step she takes, her heart beats a little faster, she glances down at her shoes. Manolos. Perfect. Hair? Flawless and side-swept. Outfit? She stops to look at her reflection in the mirrored wall as she goes, smirks proudly and appreciates that she’s chosen the pink and black Versace dress this morning instead of her break-up clothes, the ones she’s fought with herself over every morning since Danny dumped her. She looks good.

 

She slides onto the empty seat, it’s a little high, as bar stools tend to pointlessly be, but nothing happens, she doesn’t slide off the other side, she doesn’t wobble or anything. All gazelle-like. Nice. Gazelles. Gazelles are elegant and graceful.

 

“Bar tender?’ Mindy conjures up her best nonchalant, sophisticated, sexy hair flip and smiles before ordering her best guess at whatever is in Keira Knightley’s glass. “Can I please have a Dark and Stormy? Thanks so much.”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Keira Knightley briefly looks up and smirks.

 

“Hi,” Mindy says, then looks at the other woman’s drink and pretends she hadn’t noticed it before, “Oh, look at that. Great minds.”

 

“Right.” Keira replies, smiling politely and toasting her drink in Mindy’s direction.

 

Mindy tries not to squeal.

 

Her drink is placed in front of her moments later and she sips it in a very Keira way. She hopes at least.

 

Keira Knightley closes the script and leans back comfortably, looking around the nearly empty bar with an air of disinterest as her drink sloshes around at the bottom of her glass. She sighs while Mindy pretends not to notice, and also pretends that she doesn’t want to lean over, stick her nose right into Keira Knightley’s perfect neck and see if she’s wearing Mademoiselle Chanel right now.

 

“I’m sorry, I seemed to have left my phone in my room, can I bother you for the time?”

 

“Oh, sure!” Mindy holds her phone screen up.

 

“Thank you so much. I’m supposed to meet with someone, and he’s forty-five minutes late.”

 

“Men, am I right?”

 

“Right.” Keira nods and then shrugs her shoulders as if they’re total girlfriends.

 

Mindy smiles into her glass.

 

“Movie executives are the worst.” Keira mumbles offhandedly, clearly annoyed with the person that’s left her waiting. “The decent thing would be to call and reschedule.”

 

“Well—maybe they called your cell phone.”

 

“Which is currently left forgotten in my room,” Keira says and laughs.

 

“Right. Maybe they’re calling you and calling you, and you’re over here, getting drunk.”

 

“In the middle of the day, yes. They have my room number though, and I asked to have my calls redirected to the bar, so there you go.” Keira taps her head and winks, “Not just a hat rack.”

 

“Well, that is actually very smart, Keira Knightley. I wish I had thought of that when I got stood up during that medical conference in Iowa. For all I know, Doctor Erickson is still waiting for me in that hotel lobby.”

 

“Oh, you’re a Doctor? That’s so cool!”

 

“I am! Doctor Lahiri, Obstetrician/Gynecologist to the stars. Some stars. Some—reality TV stars. One reality TV star. Her mom, actually, anyway, I’m a Doctor.”

 

They shake hands, Mindy tries not to hold on for too long, and then notes how perfect Keira Knightley’s skin is up close.

 

“I’m Keira. Nice to meet you.”

 

“Oh, what do you do? I’m just kidding, I know who you are. I’m actually a huge fan, I’ve seen Bend It Like Beckham a thousand times. And yes, it’s the Indian thing. And the lesbian subtext.”

 

Keira laughs again, she seems utterly charmed by Mindy, and this is definitely a plus. There is one woman on her list and she’s sitting right here. This is her chance.

 

“Thank you so much. I’d never actually noticed the lesbian subtext before.”

 

“Wait, are you—you’re kidding, right?”

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

They share a laugh, and Mindy is feeling more and more confident by the second. Yeah. Yeah, this could work out just fine.

 

“So, uh, is that a new movie you’re going to make?” Mindy points at the script in front of the other woman, eyeing it curiously, “Is it another ruffle-tastic thing?”

 

“It is!” Keira exclaims, patting the thick stack of pages lightly before clicking her tongue to her teeth, “Lots of ruffles in this one, I’m afraid, another period piece, so boring, I know.”

 

“Are you kidding? You are the only person who can wear literally anything from any era and still look so sick. Trust me, I tried wearing an exact replica of the green dress you wore in Atonement, and while I still looked mega hot, it just didn’t work. I ran out of reasons to have super fancy black tie dinner parties so I wouldn’t look like a weirdo, I finally had to just give up and put it in storage.”

 

“That’s so nice of you to say. I _love_ your dress by the way.” Keira says, leaning forward a little to touch the sleeve, her finger grazing Mindy’s skin for the briefest of moments. “Is that Versace?”

 

“It is!”

 

They chit-chat for a few more minutes before a curious crowd begins to trickle into the bar, and inevitably, send snooping glances their way. Mindy, noting Keira’s clear discomfort, suggests they move to a more private booth, where she’ll wait for this Producer to show. Once at their table, Mindy orders another round of Dark and Stormys.

 

“I’d hate to keep you, you really don’t have to keep me company,” Keira offers.

 

Mindy waves her hand dismissively and after swallowing a hearty gulp of alcohol, she says, “I’m actually looking for an excuse to get away from work for just a little bit. My uh—recent ex is another Doctor at the practice, and…you know, it’s one of those days.”

 

“Bad break-up, huh?”

 

“He broke my heart,” Mindy says with a nod as she runs the tip of her index finger along the rim of her glass, the tiniest bit of emotion blocking her windpipe. She gives a little cough and continues under the freakishly attentive—ridiculously gorgeous—understanding stare of Keira Knightley, “And now he keeps looking at me in this way, and it’s very distracting, honestly, but you know what? Actually, the other day, he said that I couldn’t get you. I told him it would be totally hot, and he was like ‘you think you could pull Keira Knightley?’” She uses her best Danny impression and this makes Keira laugh. “He’s so annoying. So that helps with the missing him part of it. Just—today I couldn’t. Which is actually great, because I’m sitting here talking to Keira Knightley, having a drink in the middle of the day!”

 

“Well, I’m glad I get to wait out this other jerk with you, Mindy. Can I offer you a few unsolicited words of advice?”

 

“From my fashion idol? Who else would take advice from? Please.”

 

“All right, well, my advice is, spend some time with yourself and don’t focus so much on what you suppose should make you happy, or who. Romance is nice, sure, sex is great—yes, but, at the end of the day, what _really_ makes you the happiest, Mindy?”

 

“Two bottles of wine and a bear claw. Two bear claws.”

 

“I’d replace the bear claws with a box of chocolate chip cookies, but otherwise, I agree wholeheartedly.”

 

“Keira Knightley, I knew we were soul mates. Because if you and I were to get married, you wouldn’t touch my claw and I wouldn’t touch your cookie.”

 

“Well, I don’t know how happy I’d be about my wife not wanting to lay a hand on my cookie,” Mindy blushes, and hides it with a chuckle and another drink of her Dark and Stormy. “So, perhaps, don’t be afraid to touch it.”

 

Just then, Keira’s eyes stray and she catches sight of an older, balding man who is mouthing an apology and she waves at him, he mouths he’ll wait outside, and she nods her head before turning in Mindy’s direction. “It looks like my meeting is moving elsewhere. Mindy, it was so lovely to meet you, thank you for the company. And the drink of course.”

 

“Oh, no problem,” Mindy says as they shake hands and she continues to avoid eye contact. _Man, her hands are soft._ “Thank you for having a drink with me, no one is going to believe that I met you and it didn’t end in disaster.”

 

Keira regards Mindy thoughtfully for a long while, and then scoots closer to her in their booth until she’s all but pressed against her and Mindy has no choice but to look right into the woman’s flawless face.

 

Mindy doesn’t see it coming, though mostly, she can’t believe it’s happening. She can’t believe Keira fucking Knightley is gently cradling her cheek—oh yeah, and kissing her! It’s soft, and when Mindy finally responds, it’s sweet, and jus the tiniest bit wet. It goes once, then again, and once more, where they linger a bit and then slowly pull apart. Mindy’s staring, wide eyed and tingly in awe and disbelief.

 

Keira smiles warmly as she pushes a strand of Mindy’s hair behind her ear, and then says, “You are gorgeous, Doctor Lahiri, make sure to let that ex-boyfriend of yours know that you could, in fact, pull Keira Knightley.”

 

Mindy doesn’t say a word, not even when the other woman says goodbye and scoots out of the booth, disappearing with the fading clicking of her heels against the floor. When Mindy finally blinks and remembers to take a breath, she finds her cheeks are warm, that her stomach is all a flutter.

 

“Oh, my god, she does smell like Mademoiselle Coco.”


End file.
